


in the winter we change

by hongpikachu



Series: wanna one x late night drunken confessions [2]
Category: HOTSHOT (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Disbandment, Drunken Confessions, M/M, Pining, another mess like their feelings, idolverse, mentions of Kang Daniel, non-au, post-disbandment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 06:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12359703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hongpikachu/pseuds/hongpikachu
Summary: If the soreness of his heels could be personified, it would have probably given him a good smack on the head for being too much of a martyr. He catches sight of Sungwoon’s back as it enters the restaurant where he was standing behind, leading him to a table on a far corner away from the noise.aka Sungwoon experiences another drunken confession, this time he's on the receiving end





	in the winter we change

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello i decided to make a sequel because someone gave me an idea on twitter
> 
> shout out to mi madre Danie (@nomadictrail on twitter) for giving me the idea!!

Seoul never really sleeps, Jisung thinks as he clutches onto his coat with his mitten-donned hands. Despite the snow not falling just yet, the weather was already too cold for his thin frame, which intensifies as a series of small gusts fans his face with each passing figure. 

 

He opts to focus on the city lights from afar, now swaying on his spot while resisting the temptation to lean back on the fogged glass window of the restaurant behind him. The sight of Sungwoon approaching him causes his expression to bright up, though he tries not to make it too obvious by grinning stiffly (he can use the cold as an excuse if the younger brings it up later, he thinks).

 

“Hey there. Did I make you wait for too long?”

 

His stomach churns at the sound of the other’s voice, not knowing whether to blame the cold or hunger, and the bad timing. Tempting as it was to say yes and nod, he thinks of how cringeworthy it would be so he just shakes his head and widens his smile a little as to not make Sungwoon feel bad.

 

“No, I just arrived a couple of minutes before you did. Let’s go inside.”

 

If the soreness of his heels could be personified, it would have probably given him a good smack on the head for being too much of a martyr. He catches sight of Sungwoon’s back as it enters the restaurant where he was standing behind, leading him to a table on a far corner away from the noise. 

 

It has been two years since the disbandment and yet he still gets captivated at how the person in front of him seemed to have never aged. 

 

The lines on Sungwoon’s face as he smiles are still just as how he remembers it, the skin as clear and bright as always despite being bombarded with schedules for the past few years. And yet Jisung fidgets on his fingers from underneath the table and away from the other’s sight, hoping to at least ease the sinking of his heart.   
  
  


 

\---

 

 

It wasn’t long before there were bottles of soju on the table, a glass full of the clear liquid in front of Jisung waiting to be consumed. Sungwoon had a few shots for himself and the pink on his pale cheeks seemed to be endearing (just as his everything else was).

 

“Hey hyung, look at this. I can’t believe people still call you these names.”

 

A screen was flashed before Jisung’s eyes and he notices the stream of posts on Twitter. It has been a while since he has actually searched for his name on network sites, so he gets a mixture of nostalgia and a little pain from reading the curses that were once said to him when he appeared on the program. However, he feels the cushion press on his back as he heartily laughs, leaving Sungwoon to look at him in wonder.

 

“Why did you search for my name all of a sudden, Sungwoon-ah? Was there an article about me when I was back in the military?”

 

“No hyung, it’s just that… I wanted to show the good things people said about you but somehow posts like these come around and it just bothers me a lot...”

 

  
\---  
  


 

For a moment, Jisung looks at the latter in surprise as the said man chatters so freely in the midst of intoxication. Nobody came to notice that one empty bottle becomes four, and the weight of their heads slowly diminish with each shot. Sungwoon was indeed noisier than all five (sober) trainees of MMO combined, yet at the mention of one name, their table gets draped in silence.

 

“Hyung, how’s Daniel?”

 

Flashbacks of their farewell party ran through Jisung’s mind, although he seems to have forgotten most part. However, he sees how Daniel and Sungwoon fell asleep together surrounded with empty bottles of liquor. He might have grimaced for a few seconds at the memory, pursing his lips in a line afterwards while thinking of the right words to say.

 

_ ‘You still  think of him all this time?’ _

 

_ ‘You could have went out with him to check for yourself.’ _

 

_ ‘Forget about him and ask about me for once.’ _

 

Being harsh has always been uncharacteristic of Jisung, so he pinches himself at all the resentment that threatens to spill from his lips. Instead he hums and manages to keep his tone and expression neutral somehow.

 

“He’s doing really great! To be honest, I got worried when I enlisted because he has to promote alone. But he’s had more experience in it than I do, so I think I’m the one who couldn’t live while promoting solo.”

 

Seeing the relief on Sungwoon’s face felt like seasickness to the older. The smile swayed him like comforting waves yet the thought of someone else being his relief was a punch on his gut that makes him nauseated. Yet he still manages to not say anything, keeping conflict away as much as possible.

  
  


\---

 

 

None of them bothered to count the bottles that they have emptied, nor cared if they were way past their usual tolerance level. Jisung thinks that although buzzed, he still has a grip on himself as he has not said or done something to cross their line of friendship yet. 

 

The usual talk commences all the while scrolling through countless articles and posts about them, occasionally laughing at the negative comments (though Jisung may have cried out one or two times) about themselves and their other team members. Of course they push aside the negative by looking at how some of the other nine members are rising as well with their activities within their companies. 

 

“It’s all because you raised us well, hyung.”

 

He doesn’t forget the words Sungwoon say to him, and he may have cried for the third time that night.

 

 

\---

 

The ringing of the bell resonates as more and more people leave the restaurant at the strike of midnight. His own butt feels numb against the cushion yet he feels his body too light to be carried outside, so he just slumps on the seat as Sungwoon does on his own. 

 

It was all silence save for the soft-volumed radio on the restaurant counter. It was a ballad from some years ago to which Sungwoon was mouthing the lyrics to. The light above their heads somehow became too dim and atmosphere suddenly solemn. 

 

“Ha Sungwoon…”

 

If he were sober at the moment, Jisung would panic to have called out Sungwoon’s name out of the blue, afraid of having to say his inner thoughts out loud. But an hour of bravery is worth numerous soju shots and a hangover calling out to him for the next day. If he was too consumed in his thoughts, the younger’s hummed reply could have gotten unnoticed.

 

“Why did you ask to have dinner and drink with you tonight?”

 

Even if you take Wanna One away from Yoon Jisung, it would never be easy to take away the leadership instinct that was developed in him when he took care of them collectively and separately for about two years. This time both of them sat straight with both phones tucked in their pocket. Every bottle between them was empty and nobody had the energy to call for one more. 

 

“Hyung… The day after tomorrow…”

 

Sungwoon trails off with his gaze now on one of the empty bottles closest to him. It takes him a few seconds to compose himself yet Jisung pays no mind. He knows when Sungwoon has something important to say, he either says it in one go or take his time to find the right words. And when he does, that’s when he lifts his head and looks at Jisung with resolve.

 

“I’ll be enlisting the day after tomorrow. They, Hotshot, they know about it already. And as the leader of Wanna One, even if we’ve already disbanded, I wanted you to know too. I look up to you, hyung. And I want to let you know about it before the rest of them.”

 

Despite the intoxication, he absorbs the news in quickly and with ease, nodding and humming in understanding, which caused Sungwoon to smile and sigh in relief. His heart feels like slowly resurfacing to float once more, and yet somehow something still tries to bring it down.

 

“Thank you, Sungwoon-ah. That means a lot. I’m sure you’ll do well. You’re quite stronger than you look after all.”

 

The sound of their laughter drowns out the still sad song on the radio.

  
  


\---

 

 

The cold winter air doesn’t seem to harsh against their warm bodies and cheeks, staggering on the pavement with what little strength they have from finishing all the liquor by themselves. Thankfully Sungwoon’s dorm is just by the district and they managed to reach there within thirty minutes (despite stopping by a convenience store for some ice cream). 

 

When they were about to bid farewell, their gazes met and time seemed to stop for Jisung. The stars would have been ashamed to stay up the sky after seeing the glint in Sungwoon’s wide and innocent eyes. It takes the last of Jisung’s sanity and so before he leaves, he clears his throat.

 

“Sungwoon, I’m about to tell you something. And I want you to take this seriously. I- damn it- I know it’s bad timing to tell you when we’re both drunk, but you’re gonna be gone for two years and I don’t know how long I could hold it in…”

 

The younger doesn’t speak and looks at Jisung in hazed yet curious eyes, leaning forward as if the older of the two would be whispering a secret. It knocks the air out of the latter’s lungs but he composes himself quick enough.

 

“You see, you know that I know you like Daniel and all, right? This is gonna make things awkward but I hope it wouldn’t. Promise me it wouldn’t, alright? Okay so I… You… You make me feel all these tingles and I want to protect you from everything in this world and… I like you a lot. I forgot when it was, but it was during Produce, I like you so much, Ha Sungwoon.”

 

It takes a lot of his strength and fading bravery to look at Sungwoon in the eye, who was now confused and slowly becoming shocked at the words. He wants to end both of their misery, so he takes another deep breath and speaks again.

 

“You don’t have to answer to me right now, or at all. I mean you--”

 

“Being a soldier really does turn people into men.” The younger manages in a giggle, giving Jisung the shock this time. “I’ll think about it, hyung. After I get discharged, I’ll let you know about my thoughts.”  
  
  


\---

 

Jisung looks back on the building after taking a couple of steps away. The younger was no longer in sight yet he still feels like he could see the silhouette from where they were standing hours ago. His chest doesn’t beat as fast now, and he walks with steps as light as his heart, the flakes of Seoul’s first snow falling on top of his head.

  
  
  


_ \--- 2 Years Later --- _

  
  


Freshly brewed coffee rests on the dorm’s kitchen counter one December dawn while everyone else in the dorm was fast asleep. Jisung just finished a schedule a few hours ago yet he doesn’t find in him the mood to go to sleep and recharge for the next few hours ahead.

 

He rests his back on the surface and felt compelled to take out his phone, scrolling past the messages from his managers, his parents, people from their agency, and his friends to mention a few. Those were left unread to be replied to later on, save for the ones from his parents where he replied as quickly as he can.

 

Whatever compelled him to look through search portals at this unholy hours of night kept him awake more than the coffee could. The industry is indeed harsh, he thinks as he scrolls past articles of disbanding senior groups, celebrities involved in scandals, and all the other controversies that artists have to go through. 

 

But despite the negativity, his lips formed a smile while his lips press on the edge of the glass, trying to take a sip from the coffee yet he couldn’t bring his hand to move further. Bolded letters of the article turns to a blur while small droplets land on his coffee.

 

**_“Ha Sungwoon reportedly dating a non-celebrity. Rumors confirmed by the agency.”_ **

**Author's Note:**

> i am yet again cramming this idea full of emotional constipation on the weekend  
> someone please stop me before i angst everyone up on the hyungline ahhh i hope i did justice to writing for this rarepair >< if anyone wants to scream about this ship with me please do so i'm always free on twitter you can just mention or DM me anytime @jihwannaone! ^^ 
> 
> please don't forget to leave a kudos and/or a comment if you enjoyed reading it and if you have pairings to request! i'm open for ideas~ thank you for reading up until here!


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